Hello ladies. I feel as though God taught me a lesson on Tuesday and well, I thought I'd share my humbling experience with all of you. . . and well i guess anyone else who happens to hack into this blog.
My personal prayer for my own heart lately has been one of correction. My daily prayer has been: "God please have mercy on me. Please correct me. Teach me . Reprove me. Humble me. Please, allow me to understand the Scriptures." Basically, my prayer has been Psalm 139: 23&24--"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Well ladies, let me tell you. . . God has been answering. And by answering, I only grow to realize how much more I am in need of a God. That no matter what, I will always come up short; I will never be "fixed" or "perfect" and I will never "arrive" at sanctification. What i mean is that I will always need God to correct, challenge, change and mold me into something that reflects Jesus more than my former self once did.
So on Tuesday, my supervisor approaced me about a system to reduce missed appointments. See the thing is, I had already developed my own protocol/system of handling that particular problem (which consisted of sticking post-its to my computer moniter. . . .oh yeah, super innovative!). I proceeded to explain to him that I already had a system, and that it workd 75% of the time and how that's pretty darn good. However, he didn't really seem all that impressed. He wanted me to change that to this and this to that, all of which would be rather inconvenient for me. So what was my initial reaction? It was not appreciative that's for sure. Rather than accepting his constructive criticism, I felt as though he was under-appreciating my performance. I proceeded to defend both my job performance and my stupid system, until he said that it wasn't a matter of performance but rather that he was trying to improve our office all around. At that point, something kind of clicked in my head. I then realized that he was only offering constructive criticism. . . and also that i am an idiot. Haha, I mean I pray every day for correction but my first reaction was to reject it rather than embrace it. God help me; this was a humbling experience. How often does our pride stand in the way of God teaching us new things? What I did take away from this experience, was a sense of victory even in this failure. I say that becuase God pointed out a pride issue in my heart; God still answered my prayer, He pointed out that which was offensive to Him--my pride. This shows me that God is in fact leading me down the path of sanctification. Oh my soul, praise Him!
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So I wrote a really lengthy response, but something weird happened and it all got deleted. I don't want to retype it, but in a nutshell I said this was really encouraging - to know that the Lord is responding and also the Psalm verse you shared - and thank you for sharing.
ReplyDelete<3Lauren :)