I've been struggling with major selfishness this week. I could blame it on Spring Break, but honestly, it's just who I am. I want things a certain way. If I want something, I don't stop it till I get it. Or the times when I don't get something I desire, I pout. I am a major pouter.
This is the natural Lindsay, gross, gritty, and wicked.
And then there's Grace.
"I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more." ~ Hebrews 10:17
I was studying for group this week, and I should have seen this coming. Sitting outside in the morning sunrise, I opened my Bible to Psalm 23- "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." And there it was. The Spirit stirring. My haughty, know-it-all attitude deflated quick.
The LORD rapidly revealed how selfishness had crept into my world and dominated my thoughts, words, and actions. It was amazing that I did not recognize Satan's bold disguise sooner. Though looking back, my break from normalcy morphed into a break from my discipline of studying God's Word this week as well. I easily saw how my absence from His scripture had decreased my awareness of Satan prowling and my own sin reeling back into my life.
David's words in Psalm 23 called out my sin and easily displayed my grotesque, dark, earthly thoughts and actions.
The reminder of how horrible my life is on it's own immediately sought me chasing the cross.
There, I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, and wondered how He could love me, a sinner, condemned, unclean. Oh, how marvelous! Oh, how wonderful! Is my Savior’s love for me! He took my sins and my sorrows, He made them His very own; He bore the burden to Calv’ry, And suffered and died alone.
Now, having received the gift of grace from the blood of the Lamb of God, I praise Him who saves! I adore my Father who met me this morning on my deck as the sun rose in the sky. I love that He cares too much for me to continue to live in my sin.
So, now I long that His Spirit work in me that I may be a mirror of His grace, to show others the joy of being His daughter. The delight that He has taken me as I am, and redeemed me.
Another tool that He used to remind me of my obedience to His love was reviewing our Covenant at the Village church. Reading through it was convicting and a wonderful measure of how faithfully I am living my life for the LORD and not myself.
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